Quick Shifts: Four Tahoe PPVs, $4.5 Million?

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars.

Stories you’ll find today:

• Worst License Plate Lottery Ever
• Four Tahoes, $4.5 Million?
• Anger Management Would've Been Cheaper
• The Internet Held a Group Therapy Session

Worst License Plate Lottery Ever. A Florida woman says she couldn't believe her eyes when the state assigned her a new license plate reading "SQZ A55"—a combination that many people quickly interpreted as "squeeze ass." According to the driver, the plate wasn't personalized and was randomly generated by the state's computer system. She admitted she laughed when she first noticed it, but after friends, family, and complete strangers kept pointing it out, she decided it might be time to ask for a replacement. Florida officials said license plates are computer-generated unless customers request a personalized tag, meaning this unfortunate combination simply slipped through the cracks. The takeaway is simple: sometimes random letters and numbers aren't as random as they seem. Because when your license plate becomes the punchline before you even get out of the car, it may be worth another trip to the DMV.

Four Tahoes, $4.5 Million? When headlines started claiming Texas police spent $4.5 million on four Chevrolet Tahoes, it sounded like somebody had completely lost their mind. The reality is a little different. The Tahoes themselves accounted for only a fraction of the price. The real money went toward sophisticated surveillance equipment known as FalcoNet, a system designed to identify and locate cellular devices as part of criminal investigations. The specialized technology, installation, and supporting equipment made up the overwhelming majority of the cost, not the SUVs parked underneath it all. Whether you think it's a worthwhile investment or an eye-popping use of taxpayer dollars is another debate entirely, but it's inaccurate to say Texas bought four $1.1 million Tahoes. The takeaway is simple: sometimes the vehicle is the least expensive part of the purchase. Because when your option package costs several times more than the SUV, you've officially entered a different tax bracket.

Anger Management Would've Been Cheaper. A dashcam captured an ugly road rage incident after the driver of a Chevrolet Corvette allegedly confronted the driver of an SUV at a red light and appeared to slash one of the SUV's tires with a sharp object. The confrontation reportedly began after the SUV cut in front of the Corvette in traffic. Video shows the Corvette pulling alongside the SUV, then stopping next to it at a traffic light. The Corvette driver exits the car, walks to the SUV, and appears to puncture its front tire before returning to the Corvette and driving away through the red light. The incident is now being investigated, and the video has circulated widely online. The takeaway is simple: getting cut off in traffic is frustrating, but turning a minor driving mistake into a potential criminal investigation is a decision that never ends well. Fortunately, dashcams don't get angry—and they tend to remember everything. .

The Internet Held a Group Therapy Session. Jalopnik asked readers a simple question: Which vehicles have the most annoying drivers? The internet responded exactly as you'd expect—with absolutely no mercy. Nissan Altima drivers were nominated early and often, but they weren't alone. BMW owners were accused of treating turn signals like optional equipment, Tesla drivers were described as believing Autopilot makes them traffic royalty, lifted pickup owners were blamed for tailgating anything with four wheels, and Prius drivers somehow managed to irritate people while doing the speed limit. Jeep owners, Charger drivers, and just about every other automotive tribe caught a stray or two. The takeaway is simple: every driver is convinced their group is perfectly reasonable and it's everyone else who's ruining the roads. Because if the internet has taught us anything, it's that no matter what you drive, somebody out there already hates you for it.