Quick Shifts

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars. 

Stories you’ll find today:

• From Car Crash to Manhunt in One Easy Step
• Six Days in Quicksand: Worst Florida Vacation Ever
• The Worst Possible Escort to the Hospital
• North Carolina Car Wash Learns the Hard Way About Fencing Wire

From Car Crash to Manhunt in One Easy Step. Some people survive a horrific crash and thank the Good Samaritan who stops to help. Others wake up, pull a gun, and run into the woods. A driver in Washington state flipped his vehicle on Interstate 5 around 3:15 a.m., was ejected from the car, and knocked unconscious on the pavement. A bystander stopped to check on him — the kind of human decency that still shows up on highways at three in the morning. When the driver regained consciousness, however, gratitude was apparently not part of the recovery plan. Authorities say he instead pulled a firearm on the person trying to help him and then fled the scene on foot. Washington State Patrol troopers reported the injured driver threatened the witness before disappearing into nearby woods. Police later located him after receiving a tip, finding him injured and in need of medical care consistent with the crash. After being treated at a hospital, he was booked into custody, and investigators reportedly discovered he had several outstanding warrants, which may explain why his first instinct after surviving a violent rollover wasn’t “thank you,” but rather “time to vanish.” Fortunately, no bystanders were hurt in the bizarre chain of events, though the crash shut down Interstate 5 for hours while authorities sorted everything out. Moral of the story: if someone stops to help after you’ve just been ejected from a rolling vehicle, try saying thanks. It usually works out better than threatening them and sprinting into the forest.

Six Days in Quicksand: Worst Florida Vacation Ever. Florida has given us many things over the years — oranges, Disney World, and an endless supply of headlines that start with “Florida Man…” and immediately go downhill from there. One Jacksonville man managed to add quicksand to the list after disappearing for several days and eventually being discovered stuck shoulder-deep in mud that acted like quicksand at a sand plant in Putnam County. The man had last been seen on Valentine’s Day, and his abandoned vehicle was later spotted near the industrial site. A deputy recognized the car and asked workers at the sand facility to search the property, which turned out to be a very good idea. An employee eventually found the missing man buried up to his shoulders in the mud pit, where authorities say he had been stuck for six days, including nights when temperatures dipped close to freezing. Miraculously, he was still conscious and able to communicate with rescuers despite having no food or water during that time. First responders then spent hours carefully working to free him without getting stuck themselves, because quicksand doesn’t exactly care whether you’re the victim or the rescue crew. The man was eventually pulled out and flown to a hospital for treatment. Authorities said the discovery happened largely because a deputy noticed the abandoned vehicle and started connecting the dots, which is a reminder that sometimes the difference between a successful rescue and a mystery documentary is simply a sharp-eyed cop. The real takeaway here is fairly straightforward: if you find yourself wandering around industrial sand pits in Florida, keep an eye on the ground. Because nothing ruins your week quite like becoming a human lawn ornament in quicksand while the entire sheriff’s department tries to dig you out.

The Worst Possible Escort to the Hospital. A stressful trip to the hospital turned into a roadside spectacle when Arkansas State Police decided a PIT maneuver was the appropriate way to stop a family headed for medical help. A father identified as Dillon Hess was driving his wife and two small children to the hospital after one of their sons suffered an allergic reaction. The child had already been given an EpiPen but was still experiencing symptoms, prompting the family to get medical help as quickly as possible. Along the way, a state trooper clocked the family’s Jeep Grand Cherokee going about 70 mph in a 60 mph zone and activated emergency lights. Hess reportedly turned on his hazard flashers and continued driving toward the next exit instead of pulling over immediately. The trooper treated the situation as a pursuit and performed a PIT maneuver after roughly a mile and a half, spinning the SUV and forcing it into the center divider. Hess was then pulled from the vehicle and handcuffed while trying to explain the medical emergency involving his child. Once officers realized what was happening, an ambulance was called and the child was transported for treatment. Authorities later dropped all charges against Hess, and the incident is now under review by state police. The episode is a reminder that sometimes the line between emergency response and roadside drama can get blurry in a hurry.

North Carolina Car Wash Learns the Hard Way About Fencing Wire. Running a pickup through a car wash is normally about as exciting as buying windshield washer fluid. Unless, of course, you forget there’s a giant coil of fencing wire sitting in the bed and that’s exactly what happened to a truck owner in Goldsboro, North Carolina, and the result quickly turned into viral internet chaos. The driver had purchased a large spool of high-tensile fencing wire for a cattle fence and left it in the back of his pickup while running errands. Later, he pulled into an automatic car wash, apparently forgetting the several hundred feet of tightly wound steel riding along behind him. Once the spinning brushes made contact with the truck, the wire began unraveling and immediately tangled into the machinery. In seconds, the fencing wire wrapped itself around the rollers, whipping through the equipment and causing significant damage to both the car wash and the pickup. The flying wire even struck the vehicle behind him in line. The truck owner later posted video of the aftermath online, saying the situation escalated instantly and sounded like a “war zone” once the wire got pulled into the system. The total cost of the damage hasn’t been released, but automatic car wash equipment can easily run into six figures, which means this may go down as one of the most expensive “quick washes” in recent memory. The lesson here is simple: before you pull into a car wash, take a quick look in the truck bed. Because the brushes are great at removing dirt, but they’re not designed to wrestle several hundred feet of fencing wire.