Quick Shifts

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars. 

Stories You'll Find Today

• Love, Rage, and a Big Hammer
• Corvette Hauler Turns Into Rogue Uber
• Crime Doesn’t Pay, But Apparently the Owner Does
• Luxury Limo Lunch Break Ends in Handcuffs

Love, Rage, and a Big Hammer. A North Carolina man upset over an argument with his girlfriend decided smashing her SUV with a sledgehammer was his best move, but in a plot twist that would make a bad TV drama blush he picked the wrong vehicle in the driveway and pounded the innocent husband’s SUV instead; according to reports the would-be avenger broke windows and dented bodywork with the heavy tool before the homeowner confronted him and called police, who arrested the hammer-wielder on charges including damage to property and trespass, turning what he probably envisioned as poetic justice into a textbook example of misdirected fury and felony consequences.

Corvette Hauler Turns Into Rogue Uber. A 23-year-old just released from a Cochise County, Arizona prison reportedly decided the best way home was by commandeering a semi parked at a Loves Truck Stop, but this wasn’t your typical Lyft moment — the tractor was hauling ten brand-new Chevrolet C8 Corvettes with a combined value north of $1.25 million when he allegedly lured the driver into conversation, threw him from the cab and drove off in the big rig, according to authorities, who say he later told deputies that the cars weren’t the point, he simply needed a truck to get home after his release, an explanation that didn’t keep him out of jail as officers soon caught up, brought the semi to a stop without damage to the Corvettes and booked him on multiple felony counts including robbery and theft of means of transportation, a plan that sounded a lot better in his head than it did to the law.

Crime Doesn’t Pay, But Apparently the Owner Does. A Gold Coast, Australia couple say masked intruders broke into their home while they slept, rummaged through the place and made off with their Lexus SUV, leaving the family shaken and their young children frightened. According to Road & Track, the real jaw-dropper came weeks later when a traffic camera captured someone driving the stolen SUV without a seatbelt and authorities mailed the registered owners a $6,258 Australian dollar fine, roughly $4,000 in U.S. money. The couple say they reported the theft to police, yet no one has shown up to investigate the burglary, but the enforcement system had no trouble matching the license plate and issuing a citation. They were reportedly given a deadline to pay the fine or face additional penalties. So to recap: thieves break in, steal the SUV, skip the seatbelt, and the people who were asleep in their own home get the bill. Somewhere, a bureaucratic box has been checked, a camera has done its job, and common sense is still looking for a parking spot. If irony were currency, this one would pay the fine.

Luxury Limo Lunch Break Ends in Handcuffs. A 2023 Rolls-Royce reported stolen out of Fort Bend County, Texas while being shipped to North Carolina popped up parked without license plates in the lot of Papa Joe’s Italian Restaurant in Orland Park, Illinois, and diners might have called it a parking miracle if police hadn’t run the vehicle identification number and found the luxury ride was hot. Officers staked out the Rolls until a 31-year-old man returned, used keys to unlock it and got behind the wheel, at which point they took him into custody without incident; he’s now charged with aggravated unlawful possession of a stolen motor vehicle and possession of stolen property after cops also found a stolen Illinois Audi plate and mounting hardware on him. The whole episode went from suspicious parking job to felony arrest quicker than you can say “antipasto.”