Quick Shifts

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars. 

Stories You'll Find Today:

• When Your Heist Comes With a Punchline
• Five Bucks for A/C? What’s Next, a Fee for Seatbelts?
• Even the Repo Man Can Pull Over the Police
• He Stole the Getaway Car From the Thieves
• Subaru’s Accidental Love Story With a Customer Base

When Your Heist Comes With a Punchline. Some thieves in Nebraska tried the old smash-and-grab routine with a modern twist, driving a stolen car straight through the front of a marijuana dispensary at exactly 4:20 in the morning, because apparently if you’re going to commit a crime, you might as well commit to the theme. The plan, as plans go, lasted about as long as it takes to say “bad idea,” and authorities quickly tracked them down and hauled them off to jail. It’s hard to say what part of this was the worst decision: stealing a car, ramming a storefront, picking the most on-the-nose time imaginable, or assuming that crashing through a building wouldn’t immediately draw attention. Either way, the whole thing turned into a reminder that while criminals may get creative, they rarely get smarter, and the combination of a stolen vehicle, a wrecked front door, and a timestamp that basically reads like a punchline makes for an easy case to solve.

Five Bucks for A/C? What’s Next, a Fee for Seatbelts? A rideshare passenger recently learned that apparently even air can come with a surcharge after an Uber driver tried to tack on an extra five bucks just to turn on the air conditioning during a scorching hot ride, which is the kind of upsell nobody expects when they’re already paying to get from point A to point B without melting into the seat. The rider’s story went viral, with people immediately wondering what comes next, a fee for headlights at night or a surcharge for using the brakes. Uber stepped in after the backlash, calling the situation unacceptable and making it clear drivers aren’t allowed to demand off-the-books payments for basic features that are supposed to be part of the ride. In the end the passenger was refunded, but the whole thing left a lot of folks double-checking their apps and wondering when “turn on the A/C” became a premium option instead of a basic expectation.

Even the Repo Man Can Pull Over the Police. In Ohio, things got awkward fast when a sheriff’s office found itself staring down the possibility of having 41 patrol cars repossessed after missed lease payments, which is not exactly the kind of budget drama you want playing out when your job literally requires wheels. Deputies reportedly started pulling gear and personal items out of the cruisers just in case the repo truck showed up, while county officials and the sheriff’s office pointed fingers at each other over who was supposed to pay the bill in the first place. At one point the unpaid balance was only around the price of a decently equipped pickup, but the potential fallout involved an entire fleet of interceptors disappearing overnight. In the end, the situation turned into a full-blown government version of “I thought you paid it,” “No, I thought you paid it,” which is funny until you realize the people stuck in the middle are the ones who respond when someone dials 911. It’s a reminder that in the real world, even law enforcement isn’t immune to the repo man if the paperwork doesn’t get handled.

He Stole the Getaway Car From the Thieves. A group of smash-and-grab thieves learned the hard way that leaving your getaway car running is basically an invitation for someone else to take the wheel, after a bystander jumped into the idling vehicle outside a jewelry store and drove it straight into the building mid-heist, sending the suspects scrambling and turning their clean escape plan into instant chaos. The unexpected move blocked the exit, surprised the crooks, and forced several to run off on foot, although not before the Good Samaritan reportedly caught a blast of pepper spray for the trouble. Police ended up catching some of the suspects while others bailed out once the damaged car couldn’t go much farther, and thankfully no employees were hurt during the robbery or the crash. The whole thing feels like the plot twist nobody saw coming, because while most people would call 911, this guy chose to call an audible and crash the bad guys’ ride instead, proving once again that criminals can plan a heist, but they can’t plan for random people with initiative and access to their keys.

Subaru’s Accidental Love Story With a Customer Base. Long before “targeted marketing” was a buzzword, Subaru stumbled into one of the most unusual and oddly perfect brand pairings in auto history. Back in the 1990s, when sales were lagging, the company took a hard look at who was actually buying its practical, all-wheel-drive wagons and SUVs and realized a big chunk of loyal customers were lesbian buyers who liked the safety, utility, and no-nonsense vibe. Instead of ignoring it, Subaru leaned in with subtle ads, clever taglines, and even a Martina Navratilova campaign that spoke directly to that audience without making a big production out of it. The result? Sales picked up, loyalty skyrocketed, and the brand picked up a reputation that still gets joked about today. Even now, decades later, the stereotype pops up in stand-up comedy, TV shows, and social media, even though Subaru’s modern marketing is more about dogs, hiking trails, and outdoorsy families. It’s one of those rare cases where a car company found its people, they found the car, and the whole thing turned into a marketing legend that’s still getting laughs and nods all these years later.