Quick Shifts

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars.

Stories you’ll find today:

• Vanity Plate Backfires
• Drive Yourself to Jail
• Parking Lot Politics
• Dashboard Innovation of the Year
• Pothole Pays Better Than Overtime

Vanity Plate Backfires. A Texas Lamborghini owner thought he’d cracked the code on sneaking one past the DMV with a vanity plate reading “370HSSV,” which looks innocent enough until you flip it upside down and suddenly it’s not something you’d want to explain to your kids at a stoplight; the plate reportedly made it through the approval process initially, but as these things tend to go, somebody eventually turned their head, or the plate, and that was the end of that, with authorities stepping in once the hidden message became obvious and pulling it from circulation, proving once again that while creativity is encouraged, it’s probably not wise to build your entire joke around the hope that no one will ever look at it from another angle, especially in a world where people have nothing but time and smartphones, and in Texas of all places, where if it can be spotted, photographed, and reported, it absolutely will be.

Drive Yourself to Jail. A California man already facing auto theft charges decided the best way to get to his court hearing was, apparently, in another stolen car, which is a strategy that feels bold right up until the part where law enforcement is literally waiting for you at the destination; according to MotorBiscuit, 41-year-old Ricardo Otero pulled into the Salinas courthouse parking lot on March 24 driving a vehicle reported stolen out of San Jose, where members of a multi-agency auto theft task force spotted him before he even made it inside, arrested him without incident, and added a fresh batch of charges including unlawful driving or taking of a vehicle, committing a felony while out on bail, and driving on a suspended license, proving once again that if you’re headed to court for stealing a car, showing up in another one is less of a defense strategy and more of a live demonstration, the kind judges probably don’t appreciate, but prosecutors absolutely love.

Parking Lot Politics. If you work at Stellantis, you might want to think twice before pulling into the “good” parking spots unless your vehicle wears one of the company’s many badges, because employees are reportedly getting ticketed for parking non-Stellantis vehicles in preferred areas, a policy that feels less like parking enforcement and more like brand loyalty with consequences; according to Jalopnik, workers who ignore the signage and park their “outsider” cars up front can receive warnings, and if they keep doing it, risk escalating penalties like having their car booted, which turns your daily commute into a loyalty test with a side of inconvenience, and just to keep things interesting, even employees driving legacy brands tied to the company’s history have reportedly been cited, suggesting that knowing your corporate family tree may not help you much when the parking attendant comes calling, especially as more workers return to the office and competition for close-in spaces heats up, making it clear that in this lot, it’s not just about where you park, it’s what you drove to get there.

Dashboard Innovation of the Year. A Washington state man has now reportedly been arrested for the 98th time, and while consistency is important in life, this probably isn’t what anyone had in mind, especially after deputies say they found a custom bong device built right into the dashboard of his truck, which sounds like the kind of feature you won’t find on any window sticker anywhere; the arrest followed a high-speed chase through Olympia that reportedly topped 100 mph, included driving on the wrong side of the road, and ended when the suspect ditched the truck and tried to walk away, only to be quickly located and taken into custody, with authorities also reporting the vehicle contained stolen merchandise along with meth, heroin, and fentanyl, adding a few more issues to the list beyond questionable interior design choices, and as for that 98-arrest milestone, at some point you have to admire the commitment, even if it’s the kind that keeps the local booking desk very, very busy.

Pothole Pays Better Than Overtime. A 23-year-old New York mechanic has figured out what might be the most honest business model in America right now, park next to a massive pothole and wait, because according to Supercar Blondie, that one crater near Exit 9A on the Belt Parkway is shredding tires so consistently he’s pulling in about $2,200 a night fixing the damage it causes, charging drivers roughly $150 to $300 per tire and handling as many as 15 to 25 cars after dark when the hole is hardest to see, and while city officials say pothole repairs are ongoing, the pavement seems to have other ideas as weather and wear keep reopening the same tire-eating gap, turning what should be a nuisance into a steady revenue stream, and you’ve got to admire the hustle here because instead of waiting on the city to fix it, he set up shop right next to the problem and let business roll in, which is either brilliant entrepreneurship or the most New York solution imaginable depending on whether you’re holding the wrench or the repair bill.