Quick Shifts

Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars.   

Stories you’ll find today:

• Hyundai Drivers Discover They’ve Been Driving a Handshake
• Grand Theft Auto: Missouri Edition
• Don’t Touch That Dial, Or That Phone
• Chevy Bowtie, Now in Formal Black Tie

Hyundai Drivers Discover They’ve Been Driving a Handshake.  For decades people assumed the Hyundai badge was just an italicized “H” that looked like it had been leaning into a stiff headwind, but apparently the whole time it was supposed to be two people shaking hands, one a customer and the other a company rep, which means Hyundai basically built its entire brand identity around the world’s tiniest business deal. Suddenly that swooshy letter feels less like a logo and more like clip art from a PowerPoint, and it makes you wonder what else automakers have been sneaking past us. Is the Toyota emblem really a steering wheel or just three onion rings smashed together? Is the Subaru cluster of stars actually a constellation or just a reminder of the last time you stared at your headliner while waiting for roadside assistance? The best part is how many Hyundai drivers are now looking at their cars differently, like “oh great, I’ve been rolling around town in a corporate handshake this whole time.”  At least it’s friendlier than the Dodge logo, which could double as a warning label for speeding tickets.

Grand Theft Auto: Missouri Edition.  Imagine crashing your car into a convenience store, running away, stealing another car, hitting two more vehicles, then bailing out again, all while cops are chasing you and thinking “this guy must have mistaken real life for Grand Theft Auto.” That’s exactly what happened in Kansas City where a 32-year-old decided the best way to spend his day was to play live-action GTA with actual traffic, real police, and zero extra lives. After smashing into the store and bolting on foot, he swiped another vehicle, plowed into two more cars, and then ditched that one too, like he was auditioning for the role of “World’s Worst Getaway Driver.” Officers eventually cornered him after he tried to make a run for it again, proving once and for all that when you treat a Midwestern city like it’s Los Angeles, the ending is not a five-star wanted level with a helicopter chase but a set of handcuffs and some very real charges. The only cheat code this guy had was “Wasted.”

Don’t Touch That Dial, Or That Phone.  Drivers everywhere love to claim they’re “just checking the map” or “only sending one quick text,” but a growing list of states now says if you so much as touch your phone while driving, you might as well just hand the officer your wallet and license before you even hit the brakes. These hands-free laws mean that fumbling to skip the eighth Nickelback song in a row could cost you more than just your sanity, and if you’re still trying to pull the old “but officer, I was using the GPS,” well, good luck convincing anyone when your excuse is literally in your hand. The whole point is simple: keep your paws off the phone, eyes on the road, and let the car crash into things for reasons other than your Candy Crush score. It’s amazing that in 2025 people still think they can sneak a scroll at a red light like nobody notices, when the guy behind you is laying on the horn because the light turned green a full presidential term ago. At this rate, we’re only a couple of years away from cars automatically tattling on you the second you tap the screen, which, let’s be honest, is probably the only way some folks will finally get the message.

Chevy Bowtie, Now in Formal Black Tie.  Turns out Chevy’s golden bowtie isn’t always golden after all, because back in 2012 someone at GM decided a blacked-out version was just what the brand needed to show a little extra attitude, like putting sunglasses on your logo so everyone knows it means business. The official line was that customers wanted a more aggressive, custom look, which is corporate-speak for “people thought the gold one looked like something you’d win at a church raffle.” Ever since then, black bowties have shown up on trucks, SUVs, and Camaros, often marketed as “Midnight” or “sport” editions, which is hilarious because all it really means is they took the same emblem, dipped it in the paint bucket, and charged you extra for it. Nobody’s saying it doesn’t look sharp, but let’s be honest: if changing your logo color is your big customization flex, you’re basically just accessorizing at the mall kiosk. Meanwhile, the gold bowtie still soldiers on like the sensible khakis of the car world, while the black one is out there cosplaying as the tough guy, even though it’s still bolted to the same Silverado hauling mulch on a Saturday.