It's amazing to me how many people walk into a dealership already braced for impact.
You can see it in their posture. Arms crossed. Guard up. Ready for battle. They haven’t even looked at a car yet, and already they’re preparing to defend themselves.
After decades in this business — first as a dealer, now talking to listeners every weekend — I understand why.
For most families, buying a car is the second-largest purchase they’ll ever make. It’s a big number. It matters. And unlike groceries or even appliances, you don’t do it very often. Maybe every four, five, six years. That means every time you do it, you feel out of practice.
Add to that the internet.
If you spend an hour online before buying a car, you’ll read about hidden fees, secret tricks, “four-square scams,” bait-and-switch horror stories, and advice that ranges from helpful to completely ridiculous. Social media has turned every bad experience into a viral warning label. Nobody posts a video saying, “I went to a dealership today and it was normal.”
So people walk in expecting to be taken advantage of.
When I owned dealerships, I knew that the moment I introduced myself, many customers were skeptical. Some were nervous. And ladies buying alone? They were often the most guarded of all. They were worried about being talked down to, rushed, or treated unfairly.
I made it a point to slow things down. Answer every question. Take extra time. Because the fear is real — but most of the time, it’s unnecessary.
Here’s something that might surprise you: most salespeople are not plotting how to trick you. They’re trying to earn a living. Yes, they are paid to sell cars. That’s the job. But deals today are math, not magic. There’s a selling price, a trade value, taxes, fees, and if you’re financing, an interest rate. It’s numbers on paper.
The process has also become far more transparent over the years. Buyers have access to pricing tools, vehicle history reports, manufacturer incentives, and payment calculators. The balance of information is not what it was in 1985.
But fear lingers.
And fear does something dangerous — it makes people emotional. When you’re emotional, you either become overly aggressive or overly passive. Neither one leads to a smart decision.
So how do you take the emotion out of it?
First, decide what you want before you ever walk into a showroom. Know the model, the trim level, and a realistic price range. Preparation builds confidence.
Second, focus on the out-the-door number. Monthly payments can be structured a dozen different ways. The total price is what matters.
Third, don’t shop when you’re rushed. If you have to pick up the kids in 30 minutes or you’re already stressed from work, that’s not the time to negotiate a major purchase.
Fourth, understand that it is perfectly acceptable to say, “I need to think about it.” A professional will respect that. If someone doesn’t, that’s your cue.
And finally, if something truly feels off, leave. Politely. You are never obligated to stay.
Here’s the truth: buying a car should not feel like combat. It should feel like making a thoughtful decision for your family. When you deal with reputable people and you’re prepared, the experience changes completely.
After all these years on the radio, the calls I still get most often are from women buying vehicles on their own. I always take extra time with them. Not because they can’t handle it — but because I know how much unnecessary anxiety surrounds the process. A little clarity goes a long way.
You don’t need armor to buy a car.
You need information. You need patience. And you need to remember that confidence doesn’t come from being confrontational — it comes from being prepared.
When you walk in calm, informed, and willing to ask questions, something interesting happens.
The fear disappears.
And what’s left is simply a decision — not a battle.
Photo: DuxX/Shutterstock.com.