Each week I bring you the top stories in the auto industry along with my commentary or sometimes amusing thoughts about the craziness that goes on in the world of cars.  Here is this week’s edition:

The headline read: Suze Orman Is Just As Clueless As Dave Ramsey When It Comes To Car Buying Advice.  Our friends at Jalopnik.com referenced advice given by Suze Orman.  It is a name I am familiar with, but don’t believe I have ever watched ‘ol Suze.  Longtime listeners to the show know I have called Dave Ramsey out before. I admire him for his success and the brand he has built.  Heck, we are on many of the same radio stations, just at different times.  I will admit I turn him off when he reminds me of all the millions he has made giving financial advice, which he seems to do a lot on his radio show. Then he occasionally gives car advice.  UGH.  Probably an area he should stay away from.  I get his schtick about paying cash, driving beater cars, etc.  However, he doesn’t take into account the cost of continually throwing money away on a worn out car.  Almost 5 years ago I wrote an article titled:  Sorry Dave Ramsey, you blew this one!  He actually said: “The only way you have a chance of getting 0% interest on a new car is if you have perfect credit and pay full MSRP.”  Then doubled-down with: “You shouldn't even consider buying a brand new car, unless you're debt-free and have $1 million or more in the bank”.  I begged him to come on my show, or have me on his, but, sigh, he declined.  Now Ms. Orman says: "Leasing might sound attractive with low monthly payments, but you're essentially throwing money into a temporary solution without building any equity”.  Don’t tell that to the people who are cashing out lease equity every single day, and especially the people who had thousands of dollars of equity when the chip shortage was going on. She continues with more tired old advice from 20 years ago: “New cars lose value right after you leave the dealership.” (which is why you SHOULD in fact, lease).  Orman recommends “opting for a nearly new car, around three years old, for substantial savings without compromising reliability. This lets you skip the sharpest depreciation while still getting a solid vehicle."  I can only guess she hasn’t checked used car prices lately and she clearly has not looked at the incentives on new cars.  I’m sure both these folks are good at what they do generally, but it seems to me they’ve been saying the same things for 20+ years, without keeping up with the market, current prices, or trends in automotive.  Many of you probably love one or both of these nice people, but for car advice, stick with me.  I won’t tell you wrong.

Hey General Motors-For enough money I’ll be your new security consultant!  I was a cop when I was younger, so I figure I might have a shot at this gig, since nobody has offered me the CEO position I asked for a few weeks ago. It seems pretty clear Head of GM Security is a needed position.  Last week in this Roundup I told you about brand new Escalades that were stolen from a GM storage lot in Michigan.  My concern was they reported that 7 to 10 $100,000+ Escalades were stolen.  Silly me, I thought they should be able to pinpoint that number.  So, now we learn that thieves made off with eight Chevy Corvettes from the assembly plant in Bowling Green, Kentucky.  Just to recap the score, in two weeks’ time, people too dumb to have a real job have outsmarted GM security with 7 to 10 Escalades AND 8 Chevy Corvettes.  That 15 to 18 (still boggles the mind they don’t know) very expensive vehicles that sort of stick out like a sore thumb were stolen out from under their noses!  The bumbling thieves actually made off with the cars, but Deantae Walker of Westland, Mich. was arrested and charged with receiving stolen property, fleeing police, and resisting arrest.  According to the Warren County Sheriff’s Department, they said a lady called to report a new Corvette in her apartment complex parking lot.  Apparently, it looked out of place there, not to mention the burgundy colored sports car was covered in stickers and plastic, all the items that keep cars safe while they are in transit to dealerships.  When police got to the apartments, it was they who called the GM plant to tell them they found their missing Corvette, only GM didn’t know it was missing.  I give them credit for doing the obvious:  taking inventory and the crack security team found there were a “handful” of Corvettes on the lamb. So swift police work and perhaps a little “persuasion” and one more new Corvette was found at the same apartments, and another one at a house across the street. It was raining Corvettes!  Meanwhile, a transport driver was called to ship a 2017 Corvette to Michigan.  When he got to the address he found three more 2025 Corvettes, instead of one 2017 model.  The trucker knew something was wrong and alerted police and it was all tied to our new friend Mr. Walker.  In a brilliant statement when he was being booked "If I would have made it back to Michigan, I would have been paid big."  Indeed.  Bless his heart, Mr. Walker is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.  So how about it GM?  Ready to make me that job offer?

Be honest here:  What would you do?  Gut check time.  Are you one to take advantage of a situation, knowing it probably isn’t the right thing to do, but could change your financial future?  If you found a sack of money on the street, would you turn it into the police, or go on a cruise?  A similar dilemma faced a lady named Sydney, whose claim to fame seems to be she is a TikToker under the name SidneyKidneyBean.  Sydney bought herself a preowned vehicle from Carvana, you know the car company famous for numerous things; Mostly financial problems, the big car “vending machines”, and for screwing up paperwork on the cars they sell.  I brought you the story in this publication about some states barring Carvana for selling cars due to people not getting their titles, license plates, or any sort of proof of purchase.  Sydney got a car from Carvana and financed it with Bank of America (BOA), through the used car dealer.  However, months after her purchase, BOA sent her a letter requesting a copy of her title application.  Why did they want to know?  Because Carvana didn’t place BOA as the holder of the lien, instead issuing a free and clear title to Lucky Sydney.  Nice car, no payments=WINNING!  Carvana was SO proud of their new automated titling system, it was going to solve all their paperwork issues, right?  They made a big deal out of it with Sydney, telling her she was the VERY FIRST customer to use it.  The Carvana employees were giddy about how fast it worked.  I bet they were, guessing it would take longer if the proper lien had been recorded.  Being Lucky Sydney was the first, wouldn’t you think someone, anyone, would have checked it?  Sydney checked with the State, and they verified she was the legal owner.  What to do, what to do?  Legally, she could sell the car, pocket the money, and go to a real dealership to buy a car if she chose to.  I suspect then Bank of America would look to Carvana for the money.  You can go to Sydney’s TikTok page and she explains everything:  @SidneyKidneyBean.  So, what is she going to do with this moral conundrum?  She says in her video, which 176,000+ have watched, that she is going to “take the boring route” and let everyone know about the mistake because she says she is “not a fraudster”.  Good for her, and a lucky break for Carvana.  One has to wonder if this didn’t happen to a lot of other people with the wonderful new Carvana titling system, probably to some not as honest as Lucky Sydney.  Sort of gives you faith in humanity, heh?

Another real-life example of how crime doesn’t pay.  Wouldn’t it be cheaper and safer to just get a job than rely on taking things that don’t belong to you?  Apparently, not.  We see evidence of this every day, as stupid thieves like Jeremiah Megallon, continue to defy logic.  The 38-year-old decided to steal a car from a Dodge Chrysler Jeep Ram dealership in Tyler, Texas which is about 100 miles east of Dallas.  At 3:45 AM on Thursday of last week, the Tyler Police Department got a call from Mr. Megallon saying he had broken into Patterson DCJR and that he needed help.  The Tyler PD Public Information Officer told Fox News:  "He said he had broken into the Patterson Dodge dealership in an attempt to steal a car but was unable to get out of the building." Apparently, Jeremiah had numerous, serious lacerations from breaking a showroom window and crawling through it.  Officer Andy Erbaugh further explained that sadly for our perp, there were several unlocked doors he could have used to get out of the building without the assistance of the Tyler Police.  The manager of the dealership said the only damage that the dealership sustained was the broken showroom window.  Just a guess on my part, but I would think Mr. Patterson or whomever owns the dealership will have some serious questions for the last manager out that night about why there were doors left unlocked, but I digress.  Poor old Jeremiah, who clearly was not a bullfrog, had to be taken to a local hospital for his injuries, and after treatment, was transported to the Smith, TX County jail where he was charged with burglary of a building.  But hey, it wasn’t a total bust for this criminal who is one brick shy of a load.  Nope. The police say he successfully stole some candy from a salesperson’s desk on the showroom. SCORE ONE FOR THE BAD GUYS!  Is anybody else wondering why this bumbling thief didn’t call someone, ANYBODY, but the police when he needed help getting out of the showroom.  Maybe call a friend, or a relative, his Momma, even Ghostbusters would be better than calling the police, right?  I doubt we’ll ever know, but I bet next time, he checks for open doors, and we ALL know there will be a next time.

And that’s the way it is.  Car Pro, OUT!